Here are just some comments from my school reports.
“A very quiet, industrious boy,…”
“Although he is generally quiet…”
“Wayne doesn’t waste words!”
Being quiet at school was something many teachers thought it worth stating. Something that could make a difference to my progress and my future potential.
My experience is that there can often be a value attached to talking more in the workplace too. Speaking up, giving an opinion, being more visible. But I believe that talking more is never a useful measure of anyone’s contribution. Thinking is productive. Most people can’t think deeply at the same time as talking, so there needs to be some quiet time for processing before responding.
I respect people’s time too much to waste words. It might be one of the reasons why I don’t place a high value on small talk and chit chat. I don’t know.
We’re all different. We can all bring value to a business. But do so in different ways.
For line managers
If you are a leader or line manager then consider that when someone isn’t talking, then they are actively listening and quietly processing, thinking, analysing. Using the time to figure stuff out, making connections, finding solutions to challenges. Your job is to capture that hidden work.
How you harness this work will depend on the situation and who is involved. As a line manager, you should be best-placed to know how to work well with your direct reports.
It may be appropriate to gently invite quieter members of the team to ask what they are thinking during the discussion. And then let them answer in full.
If there is resistance to contributing during the meeting, then you could ask the same question at your next 1-to-1 meeting. I wouldn’t recommend asking during breaks or at the end of the day. Having time to process information, reflect and form an opinion can help. And, being realistic, it is usually not business-critical that an answer needs to be given within a few minutes of asking a questions.
Remember that attendees can be mentally and physically exhausted from in-person meetings. This can be a common trait among neurodivergent colleagues. A long meeting in an unfamiliar setting with different routines can require additional cognitive load. There can be a higher level of anxiety, and potential for the individual to be in a fight-or-flight status. Which can make processing information more difficult. A more relaxed environment can elicit a better response.
Frame your questions in an enquiring and supportive way. Use your coaching skills to help your colleague to digest the information and apply their own thinking to the topic.
Ask your colleague what is their preference for how they contribute.
For introverts in the workplace
If you are a fellow-introvert and would like support in contributing to discussions, advocating for your preferred ways of working and harnessing your strengths in the workplace without compromising who you are, then get in touch with me. There are topics that can be explored in conversation.
Send me an email, wayne@palmatumcoaching.com or book a call into my calendar. I love having focused conversations and working collaboratively to find a way forward for you.