I write based on my own lived-experiences. The feelings that surface and how we respond to them will be different for each individual.
If you are feeling overwhelmed and believe there is a danger to yourself or to others, then do seek immediate help.
What is it like to feel overwhelmed?
You probably already know how you feel when you are overwhelmed. Many of us experience overwhelm from time-to-time. There can be a feeling of having too much going, it feels like the mind is being overloaded with information. Too many ‘things’ are competing for attention in the mind. to use an analogy: if a laptop is processing too many things at once, it can become a bit slow, unable to do simple things like switching tabs. A ‘turn off and turn on again’ can resolve the issue.
We may not be able to think straight, which can be needed to help us find a way out of the situation.
The impact of being overwhelmed
I believe that having ‘too much’ to do in itself is not the real issue here. But it is the juggling of too many things that can lead us to think that we may fail somewhere – we might forget to pay an important bill on time, or not have enough time to prepare for a crucial meeting, or we need to find time to get someone in to fix a broken boiler. It is the (potential) consequences of not doing the tasks that is the real issue.
We want to avoid these consequences at all costs. We may develop a fear of the consequences. And if we become afraid of this perceived threat to us, then the body releases adrenaline and cortisol (also known as the stress hormones). Our body produces more glucose, preparing us to fight or flight, freeze or fawn. This is also known as an ‘acute stress response’. It is a natural, healthy response to a perceived threat. A reaction evolved over many years, and very useful when we needed to take immediate action in order to stay alive. Fortunately, most tasks now are not life threatening. But the reaction that takes place in our bodies is the same. We are not able to distinguish between the level of perceived threat – the same reaction and consequences take place.
We may experience a faster heart rate, more tension in our muscles, we may have difficulties with sleep and we may notice a change in appetite. All things that can be useful when we feel that our life is threatened. But less useful if we are safe, but we are feeling overwhelmed. Our bodies have prioritised short-term survival, which may reduce our ability to think straight – to plan, to prioritise, to be effective at getting the things done that we are worrying about. And it can become a vicious cycle.
What causes overwhelm?
How much is ‘too much’ is different for each individual. No one can tell you that you don’t have enough on to be overwhelmed. We each have our own limit. And how we respond to being overwhelmed. It can be very difficult to see it coming. One minute you might feel on top of things, and then something else is added to the list and you feel out of control. Overloaded. Some neurodivergent individuals have a lower tipping point and can reach the point of overwhelm sooner than others.
Most of us like to be busy most of the time. We may choose to take on more responsibilities and say ‘yes’ to attending events because we get a sense of fulfilment from them. It is the cumulative impact of all the things that can cause overwhelm.
There may be a physical visual indicator that causes someone to feel overwhelmed. A calendar full of meetings and appointments, or one long to-do list or a pile of paperwork can generate the thought that “I’ll never be able to do all this”, or “I’m going to let people down” or “I need to sacrifice my free time to complete everything”.
Or, there may be an increase in cognitive load. A lot of demands for your time or invites to events that have happened in a short time frame. This can happen in the lead up to Christmas or when preparing to go on holiday. There are a lot of new or unfamiliar things to remember, and there may be a limit as to how much you can remember.
Many neurodivergent individuals experience sensory sensitivities. A feeling of overwhelm can be driven by environmental stimuli, such as bright or flashing lights, load noises, strong smells or crowded places. Attending public firework displays is the perfect storm, so don’t feel disappointed if your neurodivergent friends turns down an invite to attend!
Overwhelm can be triggered by a combination of these factors.
What can I do if I am overwhelmed?
If you are feeling overwhelmed and believe there is a danger to yourself or to others, then do seek immediate help.
Each individual mind works differently to another. There isn’t one fix that will reduce the feeling of overwhelm that is guaranteed to work for everyone.
Here are some suggestions that may work for you:
- Seek help. Talk to someone. A trusted friend or partner. Your line manager. The act of talking things through with someone can help. You might also hear a different viewpoint. You may want to seek a therapist or coach for support.
- Change your environment. If you think your heightened sensitivities may be a factor, then what can you change? This depends on the situation, but being somewhere quiet, with low sensory inputs may help you regulate and reduce overwhelm. Then consider what you can do to reduce the impact before you return. Wearing noise cancelling headphones is an example.
- Physical grounding techniques. Focusing the mind on other things can help the body return to a calmer state. And a calmer state can help the mind think more clearly. Stimulating the senses can help regulate the mind and body. For example: Go for a short walk, notice what you can see, hear, smell. Or, listen to some music, do some doodling or drawing. Press your hands together, use a stress ball or get a weighted blanket can all help calm the mind and body for some people.
- Mental grounding techniques. Same as physical grounding techniques, cognitive grounding exercises can help regulate. For example: Visualise a time and place where you are happy. What can you see, feel, hear, smell there? Or, Sense 5-4-3-2-1 things. 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste. It doesn’t matter what order or if you can’t think of things – the process can provide a useful distraction.
- Gain perspective. We become overwhelmed when we have a lot going on. The physical process of writing a list of the things that are on our mind can help ‘unload’ them from our minds. Then consider what is most important. What can you choose not do right now without having negative consequences? What could you ask someone else to do to help you?
- This is temporary. Reassure yourself that this may be a difficult time for you right now, but this time will pass. You will feel less overwhelmed in the future. The simple act of saying “I am safe” to yourself can help your body to regulate, and then enable you to process the situation and think more clearly.
Above all, remember that what you are feeling is a natural human response to the situation you are in. You do not need to feel that anything needs to be ‘fixed’. But it can be useful to recognise the feeling, to know what can cause overwhelm for you, and to learn what you can do when you are feeling overwhelmed.